








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8354 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6803 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4659 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3593 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,243,861 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Cachorro | 42% | 31 |
| #11 | Jowzz⊹ | 41% | 64 |
| #12 | R4FF | 39% | 59 |
| #13 | EiMrBRUMAK78 | 36% | 36 |
| #14 | Herchy | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rickzera | 600 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tavao | 349 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | mARTO | 313 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jowzz⊹ | 264 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mangueboy | 221 | 0.08 | 4 min |





