








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9841 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6980 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6197 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7387 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,794,008 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jortsu | 50% | 143 |
| #2 | Soigelo | 48% | 295 |
| #3 | MR. ZANO | 48% | 327 |
| #4 | Wursti | 48% | 286 |
| #5 | ⛧ SATAnic addict fish ⛧ | 48% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR. ZANO | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ⛧ SATAnic addict fish ⛧ | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | PulliS | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Jortsu | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Wursti | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR. ZANO | 1246 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | Soigelo | 960 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #3 | Wursti | 611 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | ⛧ SATAnic addict fish ⛧ | 512 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Joppe-T | 443 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jöööns MO | +1.77 | 58 | 73 |
| #2 | MR. ZANO | +1.45 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | Soigelo | +0.44 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | J.O.O.P / The Angel | +0.16 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | ⛧ SATAnic addict fish ⛧ | -0.36 | 55 | 64 |





