










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 28% |
| Smokes | 743 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 151 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,355 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnsh | 49% | 89 |
| #2 | Henkki | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | Juiced | 49% | 92 |
| #4 | Toga | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hnsh | 49% | 89 |
| #2 | Henkki | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | Juiced | 49% | 92 |
| #4 | Toga | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toga | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Henkki | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | hnsh | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Juiced | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juiced | 324 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Toga | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Henkki | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | hnsh | 20 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juiced | +4.41 | 72 | 74 |
| #2 | Henkki | -0.43 | 70 | 31 |
| #3 | Lihapiirakka | -1.10 | 44 | 47 |
| #4 | Toga | -2.31 | 29 | 54 |
| #5 | hnsh | -4.13 | 32 | 28 |





