








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4216 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3333 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3233 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2902 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,487 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ollieez | 49% | 88 |
| #4 | BOT Google | 48% | 153 |
| #5 | G u m s e | 48% | 46 |
| #6 | Dead Pony | 33% | 67 |
| #7 | Tobi Mr.BigPP | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Google | 16 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | M1ND | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Ollieez | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Dead Pony | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | G u m s e | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Google | 430 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ollieez | 391 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | M1ND | 267 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tobi Mr.BigPP | 114 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dead Pony | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |





