








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 157 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4921 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3322 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4287 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2997 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,393,420 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Re1oad | 48% | 138 |
| #5 | ¢hℓoe♡ | 48% | 143 |
| #6 | ModZ1 | 46% | 148 |
| #7 | Raven | 45% | 355 |
| #8 | gluten | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashton | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Raven | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ModZ1 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ¢hℓoe♡ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Re1oad | 4 | 0.0014 |





