








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3589 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2083 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2430 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,080,331 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | defeater | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | nevari | 60% | 94 |
| #3 | Athina | 57% | 245 |
| #4 | Kitty | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | seksazoid | 53% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Athina | 385 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | defeater | 208 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | nevari | 157 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | seksazoid | 118 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ranny | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ranny | +2.35 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | dabs | +1.49 | 85 | 51 |
| #3 | defeater | +0.61 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | seksazoid | +0.45 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Athina | +0.37 | 75 | 53 |





