








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1335 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1047 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 924 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 898 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,376 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rolka@HMMMMMMMM | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | just | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | N`vRu | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | MEtHOD | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | popka | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | N`vRu | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | MEtHOD | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | popka | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | absolutely krayzeh -__- | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | eimant | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N`vRu | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | popka | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eimant | 98 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | N`vRu | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | MEtHOD | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | absolutely krayzeh -__- | 24 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | just | 21 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eimant | +4.59 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | absolutely krayzeh -__- | +3.95 | 64 | 77 |
| #3 | N`vRu | +1.42 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | Drax | +1.39 | 70 | 74 |
| #5 | MEtHOD | +0.23 | 56 | 57 |





