








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 346 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2912 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2045 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1772 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,175,316 of utility $309 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eaglelix | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eaglelix | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eaglelix | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 5 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eaglelix | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | +2.72 | 41 | 70 |
| #2 | Eaglelix | +0.60 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | Killingspree | -1.39 | 51 | 38 |





