










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1621 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1963 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1860 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,529 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keila | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | JkarJJ | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | Edzku | 69% | 35 |
| #4 | McMuffin | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | jäynäpalli | 62% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edzku | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Parturi | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | kiKKELIN TUURA | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ✪ Hadowlife | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | McMuffin | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Hadowlife | 161 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | kiKKELIN TUURA | 159 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Parturi | 100 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | JkarJJ | 95 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Koira | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parturi | +3.48 | 85 | 82 |
| #2 | keila | +3.36 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | jäynäpalli | +2.95 | 90 | 46 |
| #4 | kiKKELIN TUURA | +2.50 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | Koira | +2.50 | 86 | 70 |





