








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 770 | 41% |
| Smokes | 367 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 251 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,768 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wodor | 27% | 11 |
| #2 | Snowbal | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | gianns | 25% | 24 |
| #4 | nobz | 24% | 33 |
| #5 | M3ssy | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wodor | 27% | 11 |
| #2 | Snowbal | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | gianns | 25% | 24 |
| #4 | nobz | 24% | 33 |
| #5 | M3ssy | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobz | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | gianns | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Wodor | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobz | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | gianns | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | M3ssy | 33 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Snowbal | 18 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | Wodor | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobz | +4.00 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | M3ssy | +0.02 | 71 | 48 |
| #3 | Phil of a Took | -0.04 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | Wodor | -2.22 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | gianns | -2.42 | 45 | 66 |





