








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3868 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3266 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4869 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1733 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,418,773 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3ssy | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | nobz | 46% | 407 |
| #3 | Snowbal | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | Wodor | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3ssy | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | nobz | 46% | 407 |
| #3 | Snowbal | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | Wodor | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobz | 23 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Wodor | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Snowbal | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | M3ssy | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nobz | 1553 | 0.18 | 45 min |
| #2 | Snowbal | 391 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | M3ssy | 178 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #4 | Wodor | 54 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M3ssy | +3.08 | 80 | 49 |
| #2 | nobz | +2.76 | 65 | 74 |
| #3 | Wodor | -0.87 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | gianns | -1.29 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | Snowbal | -2.03 | 48 | 55 |





