








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 886 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1288 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,321 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ CraZeD | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | ⚡ Mekelek | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Josiah Parker | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Jared Fogle | 42% | 78 |
| #5 | Bubpkis Guy | 42% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Josiah Parker | 43% | 21 |
| #4 | Jared Fogle | 42% | 78 |
| #5 | Bubpkis Guy | 42% | 110 |
| #6 | Sloop | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Burger King Crown | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubpkis Guy | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Josiah Parker | 5 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Jared Fogle | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ✪ CraZeD | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ⚡ Mekelek | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubpkis Guy | 156 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jared Fogle | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ CraZeD | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Josiah Parker | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | ⚡ Mekelek | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josiah Parker | +4.89 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | ⚡ Mekelek | +1.07 | 54 | 48 |
| #3 | Algernon Backwoods | +0.81 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | ✪ CraZeD | +0.44 | 49 | 42 |
| #5 | Bubpkis Guy | +0.43 | 59 | 38 |





