








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 817 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1355 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,479 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lepy | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Mjäyyyyy oon kissa :333 | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | SipuliRiitta | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | mutsku | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | jarib | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | HerQ | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | jaffis | 30% | 10 |
| #13 | Miskunho | 27% | 11 |
| #14 | T I A G N :D | 23% | 13 |
| #15 | Bunnyduck | 22% | 9 |





