








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 506 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4579 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6379 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7784 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 4285 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,301,405 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miskunho | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | Lepy | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | mutsku | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | HerQ | 51% | 110 |
| #5 | Mjäyyyyy oon kissa :333 | 49% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Lordi Kaunisnaama | 46% | 57 |
| #14 | Alfa 187 | 45% | 121 |
| #15 | Soisma | 43% | 122 |
| #16 | LagerF | 41% | 117 |
| #17 | Alchem17 | 40% | 45 |





