








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2109 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2629 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2039 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1776 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,857 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dft™ | 50% | 284 |
| #5 | rela♔ | 49% | 297 |
| #6 | Fewulz | 49% | 292 |
| #7 | Cowboy | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | Snifler | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juzp3 | 18 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | rela♔ | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | dft™ | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | härski | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Fewulz | 9 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fewulz | 1212 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | rela♔ | 1128 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #3 | härski | 513 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | dft™ | 407 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | juzp3 | 233 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dft™ | +3.72 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | rela♔ | +1.33 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Snifler | +0.83 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Cowboy | +0.43 | 63 | 50 |
| #5 | härski | -0.66 | 48 | 61 |





