








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2996 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3322 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1995 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3060 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,043,335 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camper-Kani | 52% | 221 |
| #2 | juzp3 | 50% | 94 |
| #3 | rela♔ | 50% | 147 |
| #4 | dft™ | 50% | 139 |
| #5 | Fewulz | 49% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camper-Kani | 27 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | juzp3 | 24 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | rela♔ | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | dft™ | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Fewulz | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fewulz | 582 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | rela♔ | 514 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | juzp3 | 503 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | Camper-Kani | 337 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | dft™ | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | king-arthur | +4.65 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | dft™ | +3.31 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | rela♔ | +1.45 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | härski | -0.86 | 47 | 61 |
| #5 | Camper-Kani | -1.11 | 50 | 46 |





