








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,681 | |
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2289 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1504 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1167 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,568 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Gunnar | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Farbror Bosse | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Gunnar | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Steffe | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖆⛧ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Skibidisvinis | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | skyper | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skyper | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | terdawn | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gunnar | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | _𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖆⛧ | 53 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | BigT | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bubbles | +1.97 | 83 | 47 |
| #2 | Steffe | +1.61 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | Gunnar | +1.54 | 50 | 55 |
| #4 | ♛ popp0 | +1.25 | 66 | 72 |
| #5 | _𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖆⛧ | +0.56 | 43 | 64 |





