








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2154 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2474 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2403 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,000,202 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krillin | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | Shifty McStabs | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | Reconz | 48% | 164 |
| #4 | Taco | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | Boxbutter | 46% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Reconz | 48% | 164 |
| #4 | Taco | 46% | 69 |
| #5 | Boxbutter | 46% | 233 |
| #6 | crunch- | 46% | 255 |
| #7 | TawnyricK ︻芫---------~ | 45% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TawnyricK ︻芫---------~ | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | crunch- | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Reconz | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Boxbutter | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Taco | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crunch- | 403 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Boxbutter | 376 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | TawnyricK ︻芫---------~ | 213 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Reconz | 203 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Taco | 147 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reconz | +0.37 | 43 | 51 |
| #2 | TawnyricK ︻芫---------~ | +0.22 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Extol | +0.07 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Krillin | +0.03 | 66 | 38 |
| #5 | Boxbutter | -0.23 | 79 | 64 |





