








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1891 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1724 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2205 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1886 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,856 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QwickieMAMBA | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | H.M. | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | haxatx | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | ДΙмΣdکhΘτ | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | hopscotch | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | oogy | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Vinegar Mix | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | S.B. | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | hopscotch | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | 248 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | oogy | 216 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Vinegar Mix | 145 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | QwickieMAMBA | 83 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Outlier | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H.M. | +2.55 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | Gentleman Fish | +1.69 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Earth-Man | +0.57 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | oogy | +0.50 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | Outlier | +0.24 | 74 | 67 |





