








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 356 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5165 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5127 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4876 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3341 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,745,052 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ツ rEtr0_-- | 49% | 106 |
| #5 | Andr3e1g | 48% | 133 |
| #6 | Walzi🍌 | 48% | 173 |
| #7 | qLx aN!® | 46% | 106 |
| #8 | KawaBanga | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JøKER_Z | +1.67 | 67 | 78 |
| #2 | ツ rEtr0_-- | +0.71 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Walzi🍌 | +0.62 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | Andr3e1g | +0.55 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | qLx aN!® | +0.26 | 62 | 68 |





