








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 79 matches | 1,814 | |
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1729 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2065 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1679 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1793 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,570 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Probin | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Cazp | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | ☣ bLIRRAN | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | ckL | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | ✪ Amajgad | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ahre, HoN-guden Patrik | 44% | 68 |
| #12 | Moline | 43% | 83 |
| #13 | rille | 41% | 54 |
| #14 | bettan2k | 40% | 15 |
| #15 | d0nut | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moline | 296 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ahre, HoN-guden Patrik | 267 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | rille | 254 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | chrispop | 115 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | fjurreee♿ | 89 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Probin | +5.60 | 75 | 39 |
| #2 | ckL | +3.31 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Flx^ | +2.91 | 94 | 62 |
| #4 | ☣ bLIRRAN | +1.71 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | Ahre, HoN-guden Patrik | +1.65 | 76 | 78 |





