










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 64 matches | 1,879 | |
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1170 | 31% |
| Smokes | 987 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 872 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,445 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ahre, HoN-guden Patrik | 50% | 82 |
| #8 | Moline | 50% | 96 |
| #9 | rille | 47% | 59 |
| #10 | eLvitra | 46% | 46 |
| #11 | Sunken | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moline | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Ahre, HoN-guden Patrik | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | rille | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Sunken | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | bettan2k | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahre, HoN-guden Patrik | 350 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Moline | 346 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | rille | 292 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | eLvitra | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bendeguz | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |





