








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 665 | 26% |
| Smokes | 727 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 527 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,276 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fessor | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | mart1n | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | oskar | 86% | 21 |
| #4 | Kamion | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Spike | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | oskar | 86% | 21 |
| #4 | Kamion | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Spike | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | Joanana | 67% | 3 |
| #7 | sl3nd | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sl3nd | 2 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | oskar | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Fessor | 1 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskar | 75 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fessor | 22 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | sl3nd | 21 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #4 | mart1n | 21 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kamion | 16 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +5.62 | 91 | 76 |
| #2 | oskar | +4.81 | 94 | 68 |
| #3 | sl3nd | +4.79 | 95 | 80 |
| #4 | Joanana | +3.53 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | Fessor | +2.57 | 69 | 69 |





