








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 96 | 10% |
| Smokes | 137 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 358 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,543 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [∞] Infitential [⋃] | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Nucking Futs | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | dmg.BlueSL | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | Hazard[iFail] | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Honk | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dmg.BlueSL | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | Hazard[iFail] | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Honk | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Coach714 | 25% | 8 |
| #7 | Yamcha | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamcha | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | dmg.BlueSL | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Coach714 | 1 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | [∞] Infitential [⋃] | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamcha | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Coach714 | 22 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | dmg.BlueSL | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nucking Futs | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Honk | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dmg.BlueSL | +2.99 | 51 | 40 |
| #2 | Hazard[iFail] | +2.78 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | Coach714 | +2.22 | 76 | 75 |
| #4 | Honk | +1.56 | 39 | 45 |
| #5 | [∞] Infitential [⋃] | +0.97 | 61 | 17 |





