








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3347 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3132 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3643 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3336 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,359,932 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRIMMY THE CAPRICIOUS CATFISH | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | ♿ TEEJAYYYE | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Janus | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Nick (New Mouse/Mouse pad) | 53% | 117 |
| #5 | Mr.Yak | 52% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick (New Mouse/Mouse pad) | 615 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | ♿ SOUP NAZI [VIPR] | 207 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr.Yak | 148 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | CRIMMY THE CAPRICIOUS CATFISH | 142 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mix | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UZICE | +5.63 | 82 | 34 |
| #2 | CRIMMY THE CAPRICIOUS CATFISH | +2.83 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Janus | +1.00 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | Nick (New Mouse/Mouse pad) | +0.95 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | Mr.Yak | +0.77 | 43 | 73 |





