








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 442 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 175 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2729 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3193 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4816 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4130 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,326,763 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lets all kill dave | 45% | 33 |
| #2 | Freskee | 44% | 255 |
| #3 | Jumbo | 42% | 89 |
| #4 | hyde | 41% | 143 |
| #5 | Krachbummente | 38% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Freskee | 44% | 255 |
| #3 | Jumbo | 42% | 89 |
| #4 | hyde | 41% | 143 |
| #5 | Krachbummente | 38% | 134 |
| #6 | gordon | 37% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freskee | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | hyde | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | gordon | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Krachbummente | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | lets all kill dave | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyde | 291 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | gordon | 217 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jumbo | 207 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Freskee | 145 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Krachbummente | 122 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gordon | +2.36 | 33 | 50 |
| #2 | hyde | +1.62 | 39 | 70 |
| #3 | Krachbummente | +1.49 | 48 | 60 |
| #4 | lets all kill dave | +0.51 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | KA | -1.94 | 21 | 54 |





