








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Renown | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,996 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5444 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3470 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3376 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3435 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,143 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Solheim | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Stray | 71% | 59 |
| #3 | Mikki | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | Danbran | 58% | 113 |
| #5 | Mr.X | 57% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sANDY | 53% | 248 |
| #7 | plutta | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | -0v | 52% | 33 |
| #9 | ✪ wArn | 51% | 91 |
| #10 | davex | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.X | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | sANDY | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | -0v | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ✪ wArn | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Stray | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sANDY | 918 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Mr.X | 480 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | ✪ wArn | 338 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Danbran | 290 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Stray | 236 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stray | +3.11 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | Mr.X | +3.07 | 87 | 75 |
| #3 | Mikki | +0.77 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | zlk | +0.37 | 76 | 76 |
| #5 | plutta | -0.02 | 67 | 78 |





