








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 507 | 16% |
| Smokes | 746 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 997 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,949 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kizza | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | Noname | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Realm | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Lew | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | Paolo | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kizza | 60% | 48 |
| #2 | Noname | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Realm | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Lew | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | Paolo | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lew | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Paolo | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Kizza | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lew | 605 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kizza | 160 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Paolo | 137 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Noname | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Realm | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lew | +2.08 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | Noname | +1.36 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Ickuma | -0.18 | 80 | 39 |
| #4 | Paolo | -1.15 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | Realm | -1.74 | 41 | 42 |





