








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 594 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1564 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1510 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,041 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | LazZz* | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Frosty | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Slavekk | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | Nyx | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sim | +7.34 | 92 | 59 |
| #2 | Slavekk | +4.95 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | LazZz* | +1.37 | 61 | 62 |
| #4 | Nyx | +1.17 | 48 | 75 |
| #5 | Patrick | +1.14 | 54 | 60 |





