










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 719 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18770 | 45% |
| Smokes | 11084 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7628 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4626 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,018,575 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1045 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝕂𝔸𝔻𝕐 ツ | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | i℟︎olo420 | 50% | 276 |
| #4 | Cris27Ok | 49% | 209 |
| #5 | Toracles | 48% | 314 |
| #6 | martinez9713 | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toracles | 44 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | i℟︎olo420 | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Cris27Ok | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | martinez9713 | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | 𝕂𝔸𝔻𝕐 ツ | 4 | 0.0018 |





