








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 916 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1292 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,969 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daddysito | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Tackles | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | BAVIAN | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Coffee | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Nkb | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BAVIAN | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Coffee | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Nkb | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | QuackyDuck | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | hs | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coffee | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Tackles | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tackles | 88 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Coffee | 78 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | BAVIAN | 44 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Daddysito | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | hs | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAVIAN | +2.77 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | hs | +1.95 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | Tackles | +1.51 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Nkb | +0.83 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Coffee | +0.81 | 61 | 63 |





