








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7058 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7775 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5806 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4118 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,647,402 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | androlini | 54% | 189 |
| #2 | folb | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | Larssa | 51% | 400 |
| #4 | b2~ | 50% | 165 |
| #5 | Killerbunny | 48% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b2~ | 772 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | Larssa | 596 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #3 | Killerbunny | 431 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | beta2themax | 208 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | androlini | 142 | 0.04 | 4 min |





