








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 561 | 43% |
| Smokes | 425 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 302 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 1% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,697 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | beta2themax | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | ixs | 52% | 77 |
| #8 | blast0ise | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | b2~ | 50% | 44 |
| #10 | Larssa | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ixs | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | androlini | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | b2~ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | beta2themax | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | G|FT | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ixs | 239 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | b2~ | 221 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | beta2themax | 99 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Killerbunny | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Larssa | 81 | 0.09 | 3 min |





