








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2505 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5569 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 3364 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3658 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,551,073 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rusik_ | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Daggett | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | neosunchik | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | alextrof | 49% | 252 |
| #5 | KoT | 49% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | znake | 49% | 139 |
| #7 | Don't eat my Honey! | 48% | 132 |
| #8 | Mukaij | 46% | 65 |
| #9 | Bes1k (◣_◢) | 45% | 115 |
| #10 | Savageghost | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alextrof | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | KoT | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | neosunchik | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Don't eat my Honey! | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | znake | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daggett | 418 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | alextrof | 358 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | KoT | 312 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Bes1k (◣_◢) | 310 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mukaij | 122 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daggett | +1.26 | 50 | 73 |
| #2 | znake | +1.18 | 59 | 39 |
| #3 | alextrof | +0.91 | 37 | 58 |
| #4 | Bes1k (◣_◢) | +0.76 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Don't eat my Honey! | +0.10 | 53 | 56 |





