










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 143 matches | 1,758 | |
| Premier | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1471 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1876 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1646 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1732 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $456,577 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M⊕rte | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | zyb⊕t | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | PPGod | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Jaboiskinny | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Timpanl | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaboiskinny | 309 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Timpanl | 237 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | PPGod | 181 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | M⊕rte | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ITCH | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaboiskinny | +6.37 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | Timpanl | +3.02 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | zyb⊕t | +0.13 | 62 | 63 |
| #4 | M⊕rte | -0.46 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | Scooby Jew | -0.75 | 27 | 56 |





