








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1609 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1198 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,143 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shokz | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | lol | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | Celerity | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | ricky | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | killking | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ricky | 58% | 45 |
| #5 | killking | 55% | 29 |
| #6 | riley1 | 53% | 58 |
| #7 | smeko | 53% | 133 |
| #8 | accelpilled hsmaxxer | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riley1 | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | smeko | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ricky | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | lol | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | killking | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riley1 | 227 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | smeko | 208 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | lol | 163 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | accelpilled hsmaxxer | 120 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Celerity | 92 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shokz | +8.81 | 98 | 62 |
| #2 | lol | +4.95 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | accelpilled hsmaxxer | +4.09 | 89 | 69 |
| #4 | killking | +1.07 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | riley1 | +0.91 | 83 | 59 |





