








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 378 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6134 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4485 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2839 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3871 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,618 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mark | 51% | 206 |
| #8 | HASSE BLOMQVIST | 51% | 83 |
| #9 | hijack | 50% | 287 |
| #10 | Chaos2 | 50% | 181 |
| #11 | A D r i i i | 47% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hijack | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | HASSE BLOMQVIST | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | A D r i i i | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hijack | 1337 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | Chaos2 | 990 | 0.25 | 27 min |
| #3 | belzebubbb | 901 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #4 | NOCCORINO | 570 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | HASSE BLOMQVIST | 570 | 0.32 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dapii | +2.39 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | erka | +2.07 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | belzebubbb | +1.67 | 79 | 79 |
| #4 | Chaos2 | +0.90 | 77 | 76 |
| #5 | 728657 | +0.62 | 70 | 70 |





