








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 292 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2062 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2495 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3135 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,712 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | belzebubbb | 61% | 84 |
| #2 | Dapii | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | zusmorigatoฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ | 57% | 136 |
| #4 | NOCCORINO | 54% | 154 |
| #5 | Chaos2 | 51% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hijack | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | A D r i i i | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 728657 | 1124 | 0.25 | 31 min |
| #2 | hijack | 992 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #3 | Chaos2 | 749 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #4 | NOCCORINO | 578 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | belzebubbb | 386 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dapii | +2.69 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | belzebubbb | +2.47 | 78 | 80 |
| #3 | Chaos2 | +1.06 | 78 | 77 |
| #4 | 728657 | +0.99 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | hijack | +0.06 | 63 | 75 |





