








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Renown | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2467 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2677 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2473 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1396 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,661 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traviak | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | zbh | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | syck | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | mysli | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | 3rKaN_BRATTE | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | feNei | 58% | 31 |
| #7 | LAPITER | 56% | 32 |
| #8 | low | 55% | 74 |
| #9 | spUUkz | 55% | 88 |
| #10 | pr0°ChrexX | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAPITER | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | 3rKaN_BRATTE | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | spUUkz | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | low | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | syck | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spUUkz | 178 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | low | 144 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | feNei | 116 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | pr0°ChrexX | 80 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | 3rKaN_BRATTE | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traviak | +2.23 | 90 | 55 |
| #2 | low | +1.61 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | 909090 | +1.49 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | feNei | +1.35 | 77 | 82 |
| #5 | 3rKaN_BRATTE | +0.75 | 67 | 70 |





