








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 815 | 36% |
| Smokes | 406 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 452 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,849 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KanaaaaR | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | RedSheep | 82% | 22 |
| #3 | Spaghetti Déguisé | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | FrenchDoomer | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | DevilPanik | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSheep | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | DevilPanik | 5 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | Kanaaaa | 4 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | KanaaaaR | 3 | 0.0187 |
| #5 | Chris | 2 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevilPanik | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | RedSheep | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | FrenchDoomer | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Chris | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kanaaaa | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedSheep | +6.04 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | ka | +5.72 | 68 | 80 |
| #3 | Spaghetti Déguisé | +2.82 | 98 | 42 |
| #4 | eurth | +1.68 | 81 | 6 |
| #5 | Limo | +0.39 | 57 | 20 |





