








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2150 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1904 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1738 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1468 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,169 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | jvz | 54% | 85 |
| #3 | uMestreDosMagos | 48% | 145 |
| #4 | NikaoGG | 48% | 63 |
| #5 | Adulto Jao | 48% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adulto Jao | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | uMestreDosMagos | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | jvz | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Cerveja | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | NikaoGG | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adulto Jao | 594 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | uMestreDosMagos | 578 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | NikaoGG | 212 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cerveja | 209 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | jvz | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ MUFFIN ONLINE GAMER RGB ♥ | +3.64 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | jvz | +2.51 | 73 | 44 |
| #3 | Lxst | +1.90 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | lesLOL | +0.52 | 61 | 71 |
| #5 | Adulto Jao | +0.33 | 51 | 70 |





