








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4896 | 48% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2095 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,859 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decoy | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Warning | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | AK-Freak | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Thrane | 48% | 188 |
| #5 | Nomez | 48% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nomez | 48% | 191 |
| #6 | cc | 47% | 135 |
| #7 | Bejerholm! | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | Kunec | 47% | 117 |
| #9 | Freakabo | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warning | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Thrane | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Kunec | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | AK-Freak | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Decoy | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thrane | 473 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nomez | 301 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | cc | 218 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kunec | 184 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bejerholm! | 50 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decoy | +1.78 | 92 | 47 |
| #2 | Nomez | +1.68 | 65 | 57 |
| #3 | Thrane | +0.47 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | cc | +0.21 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | Crow | -0.18 | 64 | 75 |





