










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1142 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,053 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunbar | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | n1.pgood | 56% | 98 |
| #3 | Johnny_B | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | SmokeHutCody | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | Jaymobro | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunbar | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | n1.pgood | 56% | 98 |
| #3 | Johnny_B | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | SmokeHutCody | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | Jaymobro | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1.pgood | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Jaymobro | 3 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | SmokeHutCody | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Johnny_B | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmokeHutCody | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | n1.pgood | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dunbar | 69 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jaymobro | 66 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Johnny_B | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaymobro | +4.03 | 53 | 60 |
| #2 | Dunbar | +2.99 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | Reese | +2.65 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | SmokeHutCody | +0.66 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | Johnny_B | +0.52 | 68 | 60 |





