








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 670 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16539 | 29% |
| Smokes | 17734 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 9600 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 12661 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,748 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEnry | 62% | 71 |
| #2 | Gh0st | 61% | 101 |
| #3 | Kanye East | 55% | 172 |
| #4 | Grantham | 54% | 354 |
| #5 | booty clap | 54% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grantham | 1313 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | booty clap | 1216 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #3 | skitz | 845 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #4 | danny | 792 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #5 | Kanye East | 580 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanye East | +2.20 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | skitz | +1.43 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | booty clap | +0.77 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | Gh0st | +0.68 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | Grantham | +0.63 | 81 | 59 |





