








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5205 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4875 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3784 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2405 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,270,306 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LMB-Monsta | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | CNNN | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | kanndanix | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Toben | 57% | 72 |
| #5 | Obi Wan Kenobi | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRAXXMASHINEEEee | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | WatsonSwatson | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Obi Wan Kenobi | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Khani | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | CNNN | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRAXXMASHINEEEee | 491 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Toben | 230 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Obi Wan Kenobi | 182 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hijades | 171 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Khani | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |





