








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 468 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3515 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4291 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1697 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,289,780 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | tren | 51% | 85 |
| #4 | Ownzyy | 50% | 160 |
| #5 | Cheezus | 48% | 58 |
| #6 | Squidgirl | 44% | 71 |
| #7 | Mao ze schlong | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byte | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Ownzyy | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | tren | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Cheezus | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Squidgirl | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ownzyy | 364 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | byte | 233 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Squidgirl | 185 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cheezus | 162 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | tren | 151 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mao ze schlong | +1.00 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | byte | +0.91 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | sKULDUGGERY | +0.59 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Ownzyy | -0.14 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | tren | -0.26 | 75 | 55 |





