








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2391 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1520 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1124 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1157 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,385 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bazookajoe | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | ◥◣ ◢◤ | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | Raúl | 68% | 63 |
| #4 | JP:) | 67% | 78 |
| #5 | Rapand | 63% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapand | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | JP:) | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Bazookajoe | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Raúl | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | P1wDr3ng | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raúl | 237 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | ◥◣ ◢◤ | 218 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #3 | JP:) | 144 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rapand | 96 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | P1wDr3ng | 53 | 0.14 | 1 min |





