








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2078 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2113 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1916 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,274 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devon | 68% | 63 |
| #2 | Bazookajoe | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | ◥◣ ◢◤ | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | JP:) | 58% | 95 |
| #5 | PiDi<33 | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devon | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | JP:) | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Bazookajoe | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Rapand | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | PIXEL | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devon | 425 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #2 | ◥◣ ◢◤ | 226 | 0.37 | 8 min |
| #3 | JP:) | 193 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ | 156 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #5 | PiDi<33 | 152 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devon | +2.21 | 59 | 75 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ | +1.88 | 64 | 83 |
| #3 | Raúl | +1.30 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | PIXEL | +1.17 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | JP:) | +0.43 | 69 | 59 |





