








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1255 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 848 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1043 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,776 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Shark | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | L | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | rekonz lft | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Lemmy | 61% | 80 |
| #5 | ![]() Sasssyy | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | L | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | rekonz lft | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Lemmy | 61% | 80 |
| #5 | ![]() Sasssyy | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | guag | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemmy | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Mr Shark | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemmy | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mr Shark | 108 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | rekonz lft | 69 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | guag | 64 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | L | 59 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rekonz lft | +5.03 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | Mr Shark | +3.72 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | L | +3.00 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | mizzy | +1.62 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | ![]() Sasssyy | +0.56 | 82 | 34 |





