








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2879 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4872 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3886 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3848 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,500 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Werners | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Xarius | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | Patax | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | oelli | 42% | 245 |
| #5 | Henry_Fonda | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Henry_Fonda | 42% | 50 |
| #6 | MrPink | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | beef soup | 42% | 134 |
| #8 | Antalia | 40% | 99 |
| #9 | KrisB | 39% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beef soup | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | oelli | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Xarius | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | KrisB | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Patax | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oelli | 633 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | KrisB | 175 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | beef soup | 88 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | MrPink | 83 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xarius | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henry_Fonda | +4.82 | 25 | 50 |
| #2 | Werners | +3.25 | 48 | 60 |
| #3 | MrPink | +1.82 | 46 | 71 |
| #4 | Xarius | +1.01 | 17 | 50 |
| #5 | [~Leckmaul~]Robson( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ | -0.11 | 16 | 72 |





